I have no idea if this concept is common knowledge in the United States, but here in Europe, we like to divide the continent into two parts.
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There’s potato Europe, then there’s tomato Europe.
Potato Europe experiences colder climates, has a very rigid take on rulebooks, and usually prefers vodka to wine. Tomato Europe, by contrast, has a more tenuous relationship to rules (and schedules), is wooed by art over logic, and is probably at least a little Catholic.
These two zones are typically divided by longitude, making the Mediterranean the de facto tomato Europe territory. Still, north versus south isn’t always an easy divide. For example, France has elements of tomato and potato Europe.
The division between these two zones is vague and subject to change, but those cultural factors hold tight in many ways. And tourists might want to know the difference, especially when it comes to etiquette in the Mediterranean.
Here’s the thing: tomato Europe has a slightly different edge than the rest of the continent. When I’m in tomato Europe, for example, lines are more like suggestions; when I’m in potato Europe, by contrast, not respecting the line (aka the cue) is very taboo.
Using that simple metric, America clearly falls more in line with potato Europe—which is why you might find yourself getting a little side-eye in the tomato-loving Mediterranean European zones more often than not.
Can’t figure out what you’re doing wrong to get so much side eye from Nonna? Despite the fact that the Mediterranean is home to distinct cultures, languages, and nations with vastly different histories, it does have a few consistent characteristics—and taboos, too.
Here’s a crash course in five important elements of etiquette in the Mediterranean.
5 things to know about etiquette in the Mediterranean
Rushing
When I moved to Barcelona six years ago, I was making the jump from New York City—one of the fastest-moving cities in the world. In New York City, it’s considered taboo to be slow or mindless at the checkout counter because everyone needs to be somewhere. To slow down someone else’s day is to create problems for them.
In the Mediterranean, people work to live—not the opposite. When I first moved, I was impatient at my local grocery store, and it took two years (I’m not joking) for the staff to warm to me because I immediately rushed and got fussy over an inefficient line.
Rushing will ruffle feathers in the Mediterranean because it disturbs the atmosphere of peace and calm that people value. In a more extreme sense, your rushing could even imply that the normal pace is insufficient or lazy.
And that bothers people because they’ve worked hard to maintain a work-life balance—something that’s harder to find in potato Europe.
Dressing down
This isn’t specific to the Mediterranean, as Europe in general is a lot more formal and careful about fashion compared to the United States. That being said, you probably won’t offend too many people in potato Europe with a casual getup. In fact, streetwear is becoming more and more mainstream throughout northern Europe.
Tomato Europe tended to hold onto its traditions, including a more conservative (and even religious) approach to life. At the same time, the Mediterranean is also bearing the brunt of overtourism.
Those two elements combined mean that dressing well is a sign of respect—especially from tourists who are there to have fun on vacation.
Zhuzhing up your meal
I’d think long and hard about adding salt, pepper, or another spice to your dish at a restaurant—especially if it’s not on the table.
Asking for condiments is a common practice in the United States, and it’s not likely to raise eyebrows. That’s not the case in Europe, especially in countries like Spain, Greece, and Italy, where culinary traditions are regarded as an art form and a core piece of identity.
I usually only add spices to salads, and only when the dishes are delivered with those extras. I’d encourage you to do the same or risk side-eye from the kitchen. (I also highly recommend finishing your dish.)
Talking about money
There’s not much to say about these last two points other than don’t expect to have a heart-to-heart about your job’s salary or how much money you have in savings.
To be blunt, I’ve lived in Spain for six years and still find it weird that bringing up money can make my good friends uncomfortable.
I might even go as far as saying that refusing to talk about money to an American is almost rude. (What are they hiding?!) Just know that if you casually bring up money with a new friend or acquaintance in the Mediterranean, they might be looking to change the subject ASAP.
Talking about sex
It will never strike me as odd that Mediterranean people are (usually) okay with a bit of PDA, but consider chatting casually about sex to be a no-no.
To be fair, I think the approach to PDA is very different around the region, and more likely to be okay in urban centers compared to more rural areas. The goal in terms of etiquette in the Mediterranean is subtlety.
So don’t be tempted to start talking willy-nilly about sex—even if everyone around you is really beautiful and the entire region is effortlessly lush. A good euphemism for this balance is Spain’s abanico culture, which revolves around those effortlessly sexy handheld fans.
With very subtle gestures of her fan, her hands, and her eyes, a woman will communicate what type of flirtation she’s open to. Again, it’s about understated interactions, not graphic conversations.
