Intimacy After 50: Steamy Tips For Reconnecting After 50

Obviously, there’s an element of confidence and comfort in one’s own skin that’s key to the success of any romantic endeavor, whether it involves a partner or flying solo. And we take our relationships with our bodies wherever we go. We’ve been exploring this reality with women-led intimacy product company Kindra since this spring, and as we head into summer, we’re continuing to work with Kindra to inspire real, unabridged conversations around women’s wellness and menopause.

This month, we explore the realities of reconnecting after 50 and feeling comfortable getting intimate — whatever that means to you. Read on for our experts’ best advice on rekindling intimacy at home and on the road.

1. Travel!

It’s no surprise that our jet setters and road trippers recommend travel as a way to rekindle the spark, and British-born author and entrepreneur Elizabeth Green sums it up nicely. The divorced 72-year-old, who calls New York City home and is headed for a Juicy Mountain Rustic Health Retreat in Turkey this summer, isn’t hesitant to share her stories of living on three different continents and dating “many cultures and flavors.”

“Travel means you’re new again, unknown, and hopefully unjudged, or if people do judge, they keep it to themselves to be polite. So over 50? No filter, don’t compromise, have fun, and find love.”

For her, that’s meant a love affair in Mumbai, visits to jazz clubs with a photographer who was taking pictures of musicians, and a kilt-and-beret-wearing Frenchman she met in New York and has stayed in touch with “all these years.”

Singer-songwriter Belinda Fraley Huesman, who calls herself The Menopause Outlaw, represents the married camp in her take on why travel works. “My husband loves to travel to anyplace warm. The hotter the better. Most of the time, they are quick jaunts to Florida beaches. However, he supports my love of songwriting, so we always go to the Key West Songwriter’s Festival. We just got back on May 9. The minute we are on the plane and turn the airplane mode on, we start to unwind. Just knowing we are heading somewhere alone with no interruptions is enough for us to break out of our routine and connect.”

Belinda told us, “Having a Paloma with Casa Migos tequila in my hand, the sun, and the smell of Coppertone makes me feel ageless with a horizon of possibilities. Being with the love of your life helps!”

Pro Tip: If you’re feeling too sluggish to even begin planning your next travels, we recommend Kindra’s Energy Boosting Dietary Supplement. This natural supplement is full of antioxidants like Pycnogenol® and Green Tea Leaf Extract to improve mental clarity and healthy circulation, boosting your energy throughout the day and into future travel adventures.

Kindra’s Daily Vaginal Lotion is TSA friendly, I love that the bottle is sleek and slender and fits in any bag. I find my vaginal dryness gets particularly irksome after a long flight, so like to keep this with me and just apply a dab or two before and after my flight to keep me moist and comfortable.

2. Treat Each Other (Or Yourself)

Looking back, I realize part of the allure of dining solo in Cincinnati, which certainly isn’t known as the romantic capital of anywhere, was that I didn’t think twice about spending a lot of money on a good meal. Doing something nice for myself — investing in and indulging myself — made me feel good, plain and simple. I floated back to the hotel, and I know it wasn’t just the wine!

Of course, I’ve had similar experiences after nice dinners with my husband. So other than an expensive meal, what are some ways you can indulge one another or yourself? In Ulrike Lemmin-Woolfrey’s roundup of the world’s nine best champagne bars to enjoy a sip, she tells the incredibly romantic story of her husband whisking her off to Tantalo — a hotel, kitchen, and rooftop bar in Panama City.

“The first night I arrived in Panama City to join my husband already there on a business trip, he took me to Tantalo and ordered a bottle of Ice Moet Chandon. Sipping champagne from large glasses filled with ice cubes while looking out over Casco Viejo, the old town on one side, the twinkling lights along the Cinta Costera viaduct on another, and having the sparkling skyline of new Panama City on the horizon, I fell in love with the city and country immediately. It is, without s doubt, the place to spend your first night — and maybe some others later, in Panama City.”

Not into bubbly? Precious gems could be just the thing. Writer Erika Ebsworth-Goold has made a tradition of purchasing wearable souvenirs in the form of jewelry, and she shares her seven tips for buying precious gems when you travel, plus where to find them, here.

My husband has combined my love of delicate jewelry with our mutual appreciation of antiques to surprise me with multiple vintage (and particularly art deco) pieces, including my engagement ring and a Miraculous Medal from France. Teresa Otto also shares tips for finding the best turquoise jewelry in New Mexico.

Our advice: Don’t be afraid to go niche and geek out about that thing you really like, whether it’s cracking a special vintage or searching out someone’s favorite stone. Besides, what’s more romantic than that special someone slipping a just-gifted bracelet on your wrist or helping you with the clasp of a new necklace (or you doing the same for them) before heading out on the town?

Pro Tip: To truly treat yourself and your partner, we recommend Kindra’s Intimate Relief Bundle. This bundle contains both the Sleep Enhancing Dietary Supplement to help you sleep peacefully and reduce stress and the Daily Vaginal Lotion and Applicator to help combat vaginal dryness post-menopause and have you ready for any unexpected intimate moments. Feeling fatigued from poor sleep or anticipating painful sex doesn’t exactly get me in the mood. This bundle can support your mood, especially before you hop into bed alone or with a partner.

3. Take A Hike Or Hit The Beach: Find Your Brand Of Getting Out In Nature

And actually make time for it! Fresh air and exercise are known to boost our moods. In fact, Dr. Carla Marie Manly, clinical psychologist, speaker, and author of the upcoming book, Date Smart, told us

• Taking daily walks in nature not only improves fitness, but research shows that a mere 12-minute walk each day is sufficient to boost mood for several hours.
• Hiking solo or with a loved one feeds a sense of personal empowerment and increases energy. And, when free of cell phones and other distractions, hiking provides an excellent opportunity for solid one-on-one connection.
• Women who feel strong and fit in their bodies — regardless of age or body type — tend to exude a confident sexiness. A woman who feels comfortable in her own skin tends to feel attractive and self-assured. 
• Trips to the beach are an excellent way to have quality downtime; the grounding energy of sand mixed with a roll of ocean waves is restorative — and has timeless romantic appeal.

Who knows? You might even wind up investing in a home away from home that puts you closer to your favorite forests, meadows, and waterfalls as Sue Davies and her wife Regina Ang have.

The two have had a weekend home in the Delaware Water Gap for the past six years and “have taken too many hikes to count along its trails.” They say the area makes for one of the best weekend trips you can take from New York City, Philly, or New Jersey, proving that even those of us in big metro areas can invite Mother Nature to help us reconnect.

Want more hiking and getting outdoors inspiration? Consider our picks for the best hikes in all 50 states to find the most romantic trail near you!

Pro Tip: If you’re still feeling the effects of menopause, including night sweats, brain fog, and dry skin, we know it’s hard to gear yourself up for hiking and outdoor exploring. We recommend Kindra’s Core Dietary Supplement to help get you moving! This supplement contains super-antioxidant Pycnogenol® and adaptogen Ashwagandha to help naturally improve circulation, reduce stress, and, bonus, boost your libido. Not to mention, athletes have been known to love this clinically-studied ingredient, Pycnogenol, for it’s bone health and cardiovascular support.

4. Try An RV

Romance doesn’t necessitate checking into a five-star hotel. In fact, two of our expert contributors say hitting the road in an RV is the best thing they’ve done for their relationships. Cindy Maricle, essential oil enthusiast and women’s health advocate, told us her 32-year marriage experienced a major transition when she and her husband sold one of their businesses and her husband was semi-retired and finally free to travel.

One of their most intimate travel experiences wound up being their three-month cross-country RV road trip. “From the initial vision, and the decision to buy an RV, we began to work together.”

They listed their values and had “a wonder-full 14,000-mile experience of Discovery. Never before had we been together without the distraction of work, family, parenting our four kids, and the everyday responsibilities of running a busy household. It was at first kind of scary. That’s a lot of time in a small space with no way out once we committed.”

“We had time together for conversation as we drove from the West Coast to the East Coast and back again,” she told us. “We discovered ways to be in close contact as we spent days driving and navigating new routes to reach our destinations.”

She went on to say “We enjoyed spontaneous opportunities to meet people, see places, hike in nature, and explore new territory. This was a new pathway for our relationship at a time of many life changes. The fact that it was mutually expansive and united in vision and purpose made it fun and exciting. We both learned new skills in communication, dreaming, planning, and generosity of spirit through times of extreme stress and the occasional monotony of long days of driving.”

Her takeaway: “So many words that begin with the prefix co-, which means together,” come into play while RVing — “commitment, cooperation, collaboration, coordination, communication, compromise, concurrence, concession, and lots of conversation. So much opportunity for meaningful intercourse, in every sense of the word!”

For more on reigniting the spark through RVing, read TravelAwaits’ writer Kara Williams’s take on why RV road trips are the most romantic way to travel.

Pro Tip: While RVing may be a unique and romantic way to reconnect with your partner, we know sleeping outside of your normal habitat may throw off your entire routine. We recommend Kindra’s Day-to-Night Booster Bundle. This bundle contains both the Sleep Enhancing Dietary Supplement to ensure you sleep comfortably and soundly in your new surroundings and the Kindra’s Energy Boosting Dietary Supplement to keep you moving throughout the day. The best part? Sticking to this dual regimen daily strengthens the efficacy. Get out and explore!

5. Embrace Change

Life coach and co-founder and editor-in-chief of The Best Ever Guide To Life Michelle Davies told us, “Whether you’re married or on the market, the energy to connect and be intimate may not be as intense as compared to when you were in your 20s or 30s. Perhaps it’s because you have already gotten so used to routine and familiarity when it comes to marriage or relationships. You feel like you’ve been there, done that.”

As Elizabeth pointed out, travel is a great way to get out of a rut, and for Michelle, that’s not just because you’ll be around strangers in a strange land. It’s about change.

“When you feel the spark is starting to fade, it means it’s the perfect time for change,” she told us. “When we talk of change, it does not only pertain to external aspects. Something has to change within you. There must be a reinvigorated interest in the way you look at life and love. Be engaged, interested, and spontaneous.”

To bring the flame back into your relationship or dating life, she suggests going on a journey for self-renewal. “Go on a short trip, discover a new hobby, or find a new passion. Having a newfound zest for life will reinvigorate the way you’re able to relate with others, including your long-time partner or a new love interest. Finding new passions will let you carry a sense of wonder and excitement, and this will trickle down into your relationships.”

Dr. Carla agrees. “As women age, it’s easy to become stuck in routines and become fearful of new explorations. Yet those over 50 are often truly in their prime and may need just a bit of encouragement to embrace new horizons. With fewer child-rearing and home life responsibilities, many women over 50 find that they have more energy than ever before for their intimate relationships.”

Pro Tip: Every woman experiences slightly different menopause and post-menopause symptoms. If you’re still unsure about the right supplement for you to combat the negative side effects of “The Change,” check out Kindra’s Hormone Assessment Quiz. Based on your unique answers, their experts will guide you to a tailored regimen of products best suited for your needs that will help you feel like yourself again.

Ultimate Pro Tip: Include TRAVEL15 for 15% off all your Kindra menopause and post-menopause relief products.